Deep Breath...

... okay.  So.  I've received calls, emails and comments from readers, family members, friends and even acquaintances about the big bombshell that dropped in our community with Kim and her Personal Shopping services.  It's well known that we were friends and, naturally, people are looking to me to comment.  At first, I didn't want to say anything at all, but now I feel like I can't post anything until I say something. So, here it is.

I, like many of you, read through the comments on Effortless Anthropologie, GOMI, and then Jezebel for hours.  Reactions from the commenters ranged from shock to fearfulness to anger- many people, including myself, were shaken, emotional, hurt, and conflicted.  Roxy stated that's it's so hard for her to say anything because Kim was a "bloggy friend." I feel my stomach churning as I type this, because Kim was my friend. My real-life friend. We've spent time together, formed a genuine friendship, emailed or texted on bad days, laughed over glasses of sangria, and crawled on our hands and knees at her birthday party picking up the pearls from my bracelet that a drunk man slapped off my hand.  I've played with her sweet dog Simon, chatted with Mr. Fiance, and seen her awesome closet.  So, you must understand, that while many of you are shocked that someone you thought you knew over the internet wasn't who you thought they were, this is my dear friend Kim that I'm reading about.  It's really, really difficult to even say anything at all, so bear with me. 

As I spent hours reading through the comments, I felt physically ill.  I know that this community can be a pleasure and a delight, but in the comments, it was clear that that image was far from everyone's minds.  As numbers of people and payments owed kept adding up, I was shocked, bewildered, and yes, hurt. 

When I started Infinite Whimsy in October of 2009, I was a lonely teacher who had just moved to Mississippi straight out of college.  I needed an escape from my draining job, and a source of energy and joy.  My blog allowed me to meet (or "meet" online) some of the kindest people who have supported me and encouraged me from the very beginning.  This community, my blog, and many others have grown more than I ever expected.  It's a testament to the good in our community that it's grown so large.  I've been lucky enough to meet many of those people face-to-face, and others have become email pen pals.  Many comments that I've been reading have expressed the desire to "quit" the blogs, at least temporarily.  I, too, had the same feeling at first.   It seems so hard to bounce back from something like this.  However, I kept thinking of how I started, and why I was here in the first place- because of all of the wonderful people in this community, and all that we bring to it. I hope that we can continue to thrive and grow, holding on to all the good we've found over the years together. This situation has been awful, but isn't insurmountable.  (It's hard work convincing myself of this, too.)

I'm leaving comments open on this post, but please be sensitive to how complicated and emotional this situation has been, as I've been very close with Kim in the past.  I just wanted to, as Tara said, break the silence.